\n<\/p>\n
The 38-year-old says he still has days where he struggles to walk, or where his back feels “on fire”.<\/p>\n
“My body just can’t do what I want it to do,” he says.<\/p>\n
Dan underwent testing to confirm his tumours weren’t linked to genetics, which was reassuring, but still leaves him facing the unknown.<\/p>\n
“It’s a loss of identity. I’ve been ‘Dan the ref’ since I was 10 years old. <\/p>\n
“It’s 28 years of being who I am, it’s my personality.<\/p>\n
“When you have the recognition that that sort of life is over, psychologically it is really tough.” <\/p>\n
Dan is now working with a psychologist to decide the path forward. <\/p>\n
“I feel like a 16-year-old who’s just left school and trying to work out what I want to do with my life,” he jokes. <\/p>\n
“I have a few options, staying in football.<\/p>\n
“[But] I don’t know if I will be able to with the mental health problems I’ve had.<\/p>\n
“Can I stay involved in a sport that I loved but can’t do myself?”<\/p>\n
One thing he is certain of, is going into the future with his family.<\/p>\n
“I want to put my son, fianc\u00e9e, my stepchildren first. I want to try and advocate for men’s mental health, for men speaking about health issues. <\/p>\n
“If I can help one or two men in the process, I’ve done my job.”<\/p>\n
And Dan accepts that if he gets back into football it would need to be for the right reasons. <\/p>\n
“I need to get that fire my belly.” <\/p>\n<\/div>\n