A woman with HIV, who inspired the plot of a romance novel, says “stigma is rife” about the virus.
Freya, whose name has been changed to protect her, found out she had HIV in 2006 and said at first it felt like a “death sentence”.
But this has changed over the years and now she wants to urge people to get tested, as she believes “early diagnosis is key”.
Freya has shared her story after her friend of 20 years, Ascot-based author Nicola May, released her latest book How Do I Tell You?
The book follows the life of 35-year-old Victoria Sharpe, who “gets devastating news that shatters everything she ever wanted for her future”.
Freya says it took her a while to feel ready for the story to come out, as it includes elements of her journey after diagnosis and the stigma she says she experienced.
Remembering when she was tested for the virus, she said: “I thought it best to get fully checked as I was entering into a new relationship and wanted to make sure I was perfectly healthy.
“I was so petrified, even the nurses and the doctors, they handled me with thick gloves. I felt originally it was a death sentence.”
Freya was monitored without having to go on medication and says when she told her friend Ms May, they both cried together.
Berkshire-based Ms May says her book is based on a completely fictitious character and there is an emphasis on getting tested early.
She explains: “I’m a storyteller by heart, this is a big issue to deal with and I intertwine the romance and story to make it light, but for people to be aware of HIV.
“Originally I was going to call the book Hello I’m Victoria, to have HIV down the front of the page, but my publisher thought that might put people off.”
Freya says the stigma around the virus, which stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus, is still “rife”.
After finding out she had HIV, Freya says talking to her previous and new partners was the “hardest thing”, explaining her “self-esteem became non-existent”.
“I felt very dirty, it only takes one time to get HIV but people will automatically assume you are promiscuous. I had to have some awkward conversations,” she says.
Talking about the book, Freya says: “It is not my life story but we have lived this journey together as close friends over 20 years and it is a subject that needs to be talked about, the stigma around it is rife, I am anonymous today for that reason.”
It has been almost 10 years since her diagnosis and Freya says she has come to terms with it and is happy with her partner.
She says: “Many years ago, a nurse said to me: ‘One day, you will wake up and HIV won’t be the first thing you think of’.
“I couldn’t imagine that day would ever come but he was absolutely right, it did.”
